Learn to play curling


Practical Ways to Praise Your Kids

“There is more hunger for love and
appreciation in this world than forThere are actually three types of
bread”appreciation because there are three ways the
Mother  Theresabrain processes information - visually,
auditory  or  kinaesthetically.
In a management survey I read recently 88% of
people who left their company said theyVisual children like to feel appreciated by
didn’t receive enough acknowledgementthings they can see like, cards,
for the work they did and felt unappreciated.certificates, plaques or cups - things they
I found that percentage to be staggeringlycan keep and put up on the wall to remember
high  but  not  really  a  surprise.and  cherish.
I remember when I was a teacher working withAuditory children like to hear appreciation
a colleague getting her classroom ready forso verbal praise and the warm tone in your
Parent’s Open Day, as the Headmastervoice and the words you use mean a lot to
walked in. He chatted for a while and reallythem.
praised the displays on the wall but pointed
out that there was some blu-tac missing fromWhile kinaesthetic children love to be
one of the paintings and he thought it lookedhugged, have their hand held or their hair
untidy as the left hand corner was curling uptussled  to  feel  appreciated.
slightly. My colleague was really upset when
he left as she had worked tirelessly on herIf  you  are  in  doubt, use all three types!
classroom for hours yet she only remembered
the comments after the wordBut for this week just start to notice and
“but.”pay attention to the way you show
appreciation towards your kids - perhaps you
This made me ponder on the power ofgive them praise in the way you like to
appreciation in our family lives and the wayreceive it but they may like to receive it in
we praise and encourage our children. If youa different way and by changing your
spend most of your time being positive yetapproach you may find your child beaming at
finish your sentences with “but”you  in  surprise  and  delight.
you negate all the positive things
you’ve already said to your kids andSo one simple thing to do this week is simply
they will only remember the words after yourto ask your children to remember a time when
“but.  “they felt most loved and listen to their
answers carefully to see how they respond.
For example, “I think you’reThen you can work out whether they prefer the
brilliant at writing your own songs andvisual,  auditory  or  the  kinaesthetic way.
playing the guitar but I hate it when you
leave the guitar propped up against theIf I asked you to name the five wealthiest
armchair like that and with all the wirespeople in the world or five people who have
sticking out from your mike. It’s justwon the Nobel Peace Prize or an Oscar I bet
so thoughtless and anyone of us could knockyou couldn’t do it. If I asked you to
it  over  or  trip  over  them.”remember five people who made a difference in
your life like family, friends, teachers or
What do you think your child is going tocolleagues who showed you appreciation I bet
remember  most?you  could  do  that  really  easily.
The fact that you think he’s a greatWhy not make genuine appreciation part of
musician or the fact that you thinkyour parenting toolkit and watch your
he’s  untidy?relationships flourish.



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