| “There is more hunger for love and | | | | |
| appreciation in this world than for | | | | There are actually three types of |
| bread” | | | | appreciation because there are three ways the |
| Mother Theresa | | | | brain processes information - visually, |
| | | | auditory or kinaesthetically. |
| In a management survey I read recently 88% of | | | | |
| people who left their company said they | | | | Visual children like to feel appreciated by |
| didn’t receive enough acknowledgement | | | | things they can see like, cards, |
| for the work they did and felt unappreciated. | | | | certificates, plaques or cups - things they |
| I found that percentage to be staggeringly | | | | can keep and put up on the wall to remember |
| high but not really a surprise. | | | | and cherish. |
| | | | |
| I remember when I was a teacher working with | | | | Auditory children like to hear appreciation |
| a colleague getting her classroom ready for | | | | so verbal praise and the warm tone in your |
| Parent’s Open Day, as the Headmaster | | | | voice and the words you use mean a lot to |
| walked in. He chatted for a while and really | | | | them. |
| praised the displays on the wall but pointed | | | | |
| out that there was some blu-tac missing from | | | | While kinaesthetic children love to be |
| one of the paintings and he thought it looked | | | | hugged, have their hand held or their hair |
| untidy as the left hand corner was curling up | | | | tussled to feel appreciated. |
| slightly. My colleague was really upset when | | | | |
| he left as she had worked tirelessly on her | | | | If you are in doubt, use all three types! |
| classroom for hours yet she only remembered | | | | |
| the comments after the word | | | | But for this week just start to notice and |
| “but.” | | | | pay attention to the way you show |
| | | | appreciation towards your kids - perhaps you |
| This made me ponder on the power of | | | | give them praise in the way you like to |
| appreciation in our family lives and the way | | | | receive it but they may like to receive it in |
| we praise and encourage our children. If you | | | | a different way and by changing your |
| spend most of your time being positive yet | | | | approach you may find your child beaming at |
| finish your sentences with “but” | | | | you in surprise and delight. |
| you negate all the positive things | | | | |
| you’ve already said to your kids and | | | | So one simple thing to do this week is simply |
| they will only remember the words after your | | | | to ask your children to remember a time when |
| “but. “ | | | | they felt most loved and listen to their |
| | | | answers carefully to see how they respond. |
| For example, “I think you’re | | | | Then you can work out whether they prefer the |
| brilliant at writing your own songs and | | | | visual, auditory or the kinaesthetic way. |
| playing the guitar but I hate it when you | | | | |
| leave the guitar propped up against the | | | | If I asked you to name the five wealthiest |
| armchair like that and with all the wires | | | | people in the world or five people who have |
| sticking out from your mike. It’s just | | | | won the Nobel Peace Prize or an Oscar I bet |
| so thoughtless and anyone of us could knock | | | | you couldn’t do it. If I asked you to |
| it over or trip over them.” | | | | remember five people who made a difference in |
| | | | your life like family, friends, teachers or |
| What do you think your child is going to | | | | colleagues who showed you appreciation I bet |
| remember most? | | | | you could do that really easily. |
| | | | |
| The fact that you think he’s a great | | | | Why not make genuine appreciation part of |
| musician or the fact that you think | | | | your parenting toolkit and watch your |
| he’s untidy? | | | | relationships flourish. |