| “There is more hunger for love and | | | | untidy? |
| appreciation in this world than for bread” | | | | There are actually three types of appreciation |
| Mother Theresa | | | | because there are three ways the brain |
| In a management survey I read recently 88% of | | | | processes information - visually, auditory or |
| people who left their company said they | | | | kinaesthetically. |
| didn’t receive enough acknowledgement | | | | Visual children like to feel appreciated by things |
| for the work they did and felt unappreciated. I | | | | they can see like, cards, certificates, plaques or |
| found that percentage to be staggeringly high but | | | | cups - things they can keep and put up on the |
| not really a surprise. | | | | wall to remember and cherish. |
| I remember when I was a teacher working with | | | | Auditory children like to hear appreciation so |
| a colleague getting her classroom ready for | | | | verbal praise and the warm tone in your voice |
| Parent’s Open Day, as the Headmaster | | | | and the words you use mean a lot to them. |
| walked in. He chatted for a while and really praised | | | | While kinaesthetic children love to be hugged, |
| the displays on the wall but pointed out that there | | | | have their hand held or their hair tussled to feel |
| was some blu-tac missing from one of the | | | | appreciated. |
| paintings and he thought it looked untidy as the | | | | If you are in doubt, use all three types! |
| left hand corner was curling up slightly. My | | | | But for this week just start to notice and pay |
| colleague was really upset when he left as she | | | | attention to the way you show appreciation |
| had worked tirelessly on her classroom for hours | | | | towards your kids - perhaps you give them praise |
| yet she only remembered the comments after | | | | in the way you like to receive it but they may |
| the word “but.” | | | | like to receive it in a different way and by |
| This made me ponder on the power of | | | | changing your approach you may find your child |
| appreciation in our family lives and the way we | | | | beaming at you in surprise and delight. |
| praise and encourage our children. If you spend | | | | So one simple thing to do this week is simply to |
| most of your time being positive yet finish your | | | | ask your children to remember a time when they |
| sentences with “but” you negate | | | | felt most loved and listen to their answers |
| all the positive things you’ve already said | | | | carefully to see how they respond. Then you can |
| to your kids and they will only remember the | | | | work out whether they prefer the visual, auditory |
| words after your “but. “ | | | | or the kinaesthetic way. |
| For example, “I think you’re | | | | If I asked you to name the five wealthiest people |
| brilliant at writing your own songs and playing the | | | | in the world or five people who have won the |
| guitar but I hate it when you leave the guitar | | | | Nobel Peace Prize or an Oscar I bet you |
| propped up against the armchair like that and with | | | | couldn’t do it. If I asked you to |
| all the wires sticking out from your mike. | | | | remember five people who made a difference in |
| It’s just so thoughtless and anyone of us | | | | your life like family, friends, teachers or colleagues |
| could knock it over or trip over them.” | | | | who showed you appreciation I bet you could do |
| What do you think your child is going to | | | | that really easily. |
| remember most? | | | | Why not make genuine appreciation part of your |
| The fact that you think he’s a great | | | | parenting toolkit and watch your relationships |
| musician or the fact that you think he’s | | | | flourish. |