| It is the most secret of societies. Its
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| | his sorrows in a deep dish pepperoni pie
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| history is uncertain, its purpose unclear
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| | with extra pepperoni. Ah...
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| and its scope unknown. It has no name,
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| | pepperoni.There's hope.In the odd event
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| holds no formal meetings and its members
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| | you find you are both hungry for soup and
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| carry no cards. Clever.
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| | can convince not a single soul to take
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| Anthropologists, teaming with an eclectic
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| | pity on you and make it, try this
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| group of scientists and academicians,
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| | recipe-for-the-rest-of-us for Homemade
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| have stumbled upon precious few clues in
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| | White Bean and Turkey Breast Soup:--Put a
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| their quest to unmask the centuries old
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| | Big pot on the stove.--Turn the burner to
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| enigma.Here is what they know so far
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| | medium.--Pour in enough olive oil, or
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| about the "Secret Society" (SS):--The SS
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| | other oil, to cover the bottom.--Pour in
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| meets spontaneously, seeming to have no
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| | some soy sauce.--Chop up three big onions
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| rigid code of pre-ceremonial obligations
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| | and toss them in.--Chop up five or six
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| it must perform.--The meetings are brief
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| | cloves of garlic and toss them in.--Chop
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| - or long - and, at times, of a moderate
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| | up four sticks of celery and toss them
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| duration.--The meetings are often held in
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| | in.--Optional-Chop up one sweet roasted
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| public venues, in the full presence of
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| | pepper (it comes in a jar) and toss it
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| non-members.--The members of the SS share
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| | in.--Chop up a couple handfuls of smoked
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| an odd dialect that, to the untrained
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| | turkey breast and toss it in.--Mix the
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| ear, sounds like utter
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| | stuff around and let it cook.--Open five
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| gibberish.Scientists have begun to invest
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| | cans of white beans, or others (Great
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| their energies toward studying the odd
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| | Northern, Cannellini, Pinto,
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| dialect, believing it may hold the key to
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| | Butter...)--Top off the pot with water
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| the Secret Society's ability to flourish.
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| | and turn up the heat to high.--Add other
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| Ancient texts reveal the original
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| | seasonings you like - salt, pepper - or,
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| adherents used a complex series of grunts
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| | thyme, cumin or cayenne.--When the soup
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| and chortles to disguise their
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| | boils, turn the burner down to low and
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| communications. Today, Anthropological
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| | wait... for about thirty minutes.--Soups
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| Nutritionists believe their trickery may
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| | on! Enjoy.Now that you've mastered the
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| reside in the confusing terminology of
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| | pot and enjoyed the fruits, or soups, of
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| weights and measures.Discussions of
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| | your labor you're in for the real
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| "pinches and dashes," and "drops and
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| | challenge. When you head out later to
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| dollops" are clearly sinister, but their
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| | join some friends for a late night chat
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| exact meaning has yet to be deciphered.
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| | and chai, be ready. Barely perceptible
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| The hasty scrawling of arcane messages,
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| | at the onset, you'll soon find yourself
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| bearing the taunting abbreviations "Tbs.,
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| | distracted by the conversation at the
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| Tsp. and Pt." are especially worrisome.
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| | next table. Something about a cup of
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| The fact that the women - yes, the SS is
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| | chicken stock or a dash of... This is
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| composed entirely of women - plan their
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| | how it begins. They entice their prey
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| mayhem in the full light of day (and
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| | with cunning precision and show no mercy
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| sometimes in the evening over a nice
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| | to simple-minded-men, conscripting them
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| potluck with the neighbors) leads
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| | as eunuchs in the perpetual service of
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| scientists to believe it may be too late.
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| | the Secret Society.Escape now!Get up and
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| The Secret Society may live...
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| | flee into the darkness, forsaking forever
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| forever!For many men the Secret Society
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| | the lilt of the ladle, the pleasantries
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| is all too real. One look at a recipe -
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| | of the pantry. Your life depends upon
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| yes, of course, it's assumed an emergency
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| | it. If you tarry, it will be too
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| of some sort exists - one look is all it
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| | late...Tim Anderson is a freelance writer
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| takes to send even the toughest man to
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| | who has a special interest in medical
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| the local pizzeria, where he can drown
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| | topics.
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